Now I Become Myself

Now I Become Myself
Parker Palmer

What a long time it can take to become the person one has always been. How often in the process we mask ourselves in faces that are not our own. How much dissolving and shaking of the ego we must endure before we discover our deep identity---the true self within every human being that is the seed of authentic vocation.

I first learned about vocation growing up in the church. I value much about the religious tradition in which I was raised: its humility about its own convictions, its respect for the world's diversity, its concern for justice. But the idea of vocation I picked up in those circles created distortion until I grew strong enough to discard it. I mean the idea that vocation, or calling, comes from a voice external to ourselves, a voice of moral demand that asks us to become someone we are not yet---someone different, someone better, someone just beyond our reach.

Today I understand vocation quite differently---not as a goal to be achieved but as a gift to be received. Discovering vocation does not mean scrambling toward some prize just beyond my reach but accepting the treasure of true self I already possess. Vocation does not come from a voice 'out there' calling me to become something I am not. It comes from a voice 'in here' calling me to be the person I was born to be, to fulfill the original selfhood given me at birth by God....

Lord, in your mercy...

Prayer of Confession
by: Marian Wright Edelman

"O God, forgive our rich nation where small babies die of cold quite legally.
O God, forgive our rich nation where small children suffer from hunger quite legally.
O God, forgive our rich nation where toddlers and school children die from guns sold quite legally.
O God, forgive our rich nation that lets children be the poorest group of citizens quite legally.
O God, forgive our rich nation that lets the rich continue to get more at the expense of the poor quite legally.
O God, forgive our rich nation which thinks security rests in missiles rather than in mothers, and in bombs rather than in babies.
O God, forgive our rich nation for not giving you sufficient thanks by giving to their daily bread.
O God, help us never to confuse what is quite legal with what is just and right in your sight."

... hear our prayer.
Amen.

a glimpse of crazy beauty embodied

I stumbled across this story while reading some blogs that have been rocking my world. Check it out.

Julio Diaz has a daily routine. Every night, the 31-year-old social worker ends his hour-long subway commute to the Bronx one stop early, just so he can eat at his favorite diner.

But one night last month, as Diaz stepped off the No. 6 train and onto a nearly empty platform, his evening took an unexpected turn.

He was walking toward the stairs when a teenage boy approached and pulled out a knife.

"He wants my money, so I just gave him my wallet and told him, 'Here you go,'" Diaz says.

As the teen began to walk away, Diaz told him, "Hey, wait a minute. You forgot something. If you're going to be robbing people for the rest of the night, you might as well take my coat to keep you warm."

The would-be robber looked at his would-be victim, "like what's going on here?" Diaz says. "He asked me, 'Why are you doing this?'"

Diaz replied: "If you're willing to risk your freedom for a few dollars, then I guess you must really need the money. I mean, all I wanted to do was get dinner and if you really want to join me ... hey, you're more than welcome.

"You know, I just felt maybe he really needs help," Diaz says.

Diaz says he and the teen went into the diner and sat in a booth.

"The manager comes by, the dishwashers come by, the waiters come by to say hi," Diaz says. "The kid was like, 'You know everybody here. Do you own this place?'"

"No, I just eat here a lot," Diaz says he told the teen. "He says, 'But you're even nice to the dishwasher.'"

Diaz replied, "Well, haven't you been taught you should be nice to everybody?"

"Yea, but I didn't think people actually behaved that way," the teen said.

Diaz asked him what he wanted out of life. "He just had almost a sad face," Diaz says.

The teen couldn't answer Diaz — or he didn't want to.

When the bill arrived, Diaz told the teen, "Look, I guess you're going to have to pay for this bill 'cause you have my money and I can't pay for this. So if you give me my wallet back, I'll gladly treat you."

The teen "didn't even think about it" and returned the wallet, Diaz says. "I gave him $20 ... I figure maybe it'll help him. I don't know."

Diaz says he asked for something in return — the teen's knife — "and he gave it to me."

Afterward, when Diaz told his mother what happened, she said, "You're the type of kid that if someone asked you for the time, you gave them your watch."

"I figure, you know, if you treat people right, you can only hope that they treat you right. It's as simple as it gets in this complicated world."

ABC

Awake

"I slept and dreamt that life was joy

I woke and saw that life was service

I acted and behold, service was joy"

-Rabindranath Tagore

2008

"The coming year stretches out in front of me as a long, open field full of flowers and full of weeds. How will I cross that field? What will I have learned when I finally reach the other end." Henri Nouwen

New Puppy!

Alan, a new friend of mine living on the streets of the Village, came to Wednesday night supper last night without an official invitation. He remembered that we have Wednesday night supper around 5:30 pm every week and hoped he would be welcomed this week. When I saw him walk down the steps into Parker Hall my heart was almost as full as my belly.

I had just asked the youth to fix 5 to go plates with plans to have them ready, just in case Ron decided to come or for delivery, when Alan entered.

"Hello Alan!"

"Hi. Can I get a plate tonight?," he said rubbing his hands together for warmth.

"Sure you can. The youth were just fixing a plate for you. Come over to our table and they will bring it to you. So good to see you friend."

Alan fixed his tea, sat at the table, was served, met a few people, laughed a bit, talked a lot and then decided to attend the bell concert in the sanctuary. Well, not really wanting to leave him alone I escorted him to the concert and decided to sit for a bit before joining the youth.

About 5-minutes after taking our seats, he wrote me a note asking if I could help him get some hygiene products because he had lost his. We timidly exchanged a few words on paper, reverting back to the 3rd grade for a few minutes, and came up with a plan. I would put together a little toiletries package and leave it on my front porch for him to pick up a little later. He gave me a a big hug (we decided that note passing was too elementary, so exited into the hall to come up with a plan) and said, "If you every need anything, like your car fixed, let me know. I have two friends that are mechanics." Cool!

So I did a little grocery shopping, found some towels at home and made him the package like I promised. I placed it on the front steps and headed to Sonic to get me a nice cold rootbeer (it had been a long, hard and not so good day). When I got back I noticed the bag was gone and a stuffed dog was on my porch.

"What in the world are my roommates up to now?" I thought. Immediately went inside to consult them and learned that neither of them had anything to do with it.

"Alan!"